From Concierge to ED: The Leadership Path No One Talks About

In today’s episode, I sat down with Erin Thompson to talk about something we don’t talk about enough in senior living...how people actually grow in this field, why the leadership path is so unstructured, and what it really feels like to rise into roles you were never formally trained for.

Erin started in this industry at 19 as a concierge… and grew into an Executive Director. Her journey is honest, emotional, and full of those “nobody prepared me for this” moments that every professional in senior care understands.

We talked about the realities of stepping into leadership before you ever get a title, the pressure operators face, the lack of support structures, the moments that humble you, and the moments that show you exactly why you’re meant to be here.

If you're already in senior living or you’re considering entering this field as a career or business opportunity this conversation will remind you that people like you are deeply needed.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• How Erin grew from concierge → Sales Director → Executive Director
• Why leadership develops in the details, not the promotions
• The gaps in training that leave new leaders overwhelmed
• Why operators burn out and how to navigate those seasons
• How community culture is created (and destroyed)
• What actually helps you grow into a confident leader
• Why new voices, new talent, and new energy are urgently needed in senior care

This is one of those episodes you’ll want to share with the people you care about in this industry especially the ones who are tired, questioning their path, or wondering if they have what it takes to lead.

Trust me… you do.

Take what you need. Share what helps. Come back for more.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

Imagine this with me. You're in your office and you can hear someone coming down the corridor because she's saying good morning pleasantries to the other residents.

SPEAKER_01: 0:22

Hey Bob, how you doing? She's really on a loud side. And she talks with a little bit of a slur.

SPEAKER_00: 0:29

You can hear her walking hard because she's not a small woman, but she's not big, big, but she's hefty. We'll call it that. And as she's walking and moving her walker, is Tiffany in here?

SPEAKER_01: 0:49

She's talking to the other managers in the offices because we're in the front of the community where the offices are. Tiffany, are you in your office? Yes, Miss W, I'm here. She comes in. I have something for you to try. And I said, What do you have for me, Miss W?

SPEAKER_00: 1:08

I want you to smell this. Tell me if you like it. I said, Okay. And she hands me a perfume bottle.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18

And it's opened, it's not in a box, it's just a perfume bottle.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23

So I'm thinking, okay, she wants me to smell her perfume. And she lets me smell it. Here, smell it. You smell it? Yes, I do. It smells really good. You like it? Yes, I do, Miss W.

SPEAKER_01: 1:39

And then she says, the name of it's called Passion. Have you ever heard of Passion? Yes, as a matter of fact, I have. Really, that's really nice. I said, You like it? Yeah, I like it a lot. Well, this one is for you. And I said, No, no, no, no. I can't do that. I can't take anything from you. Because the rule in senior living, for those of you who don't know, is that you cannot accept gifts from the residents. You have to either accept it so you don't hurt their feelings and give it to their family, give it to management if you're a line staff, or sneak it back into their room. Um, it is prohibited at any good community for residents just to give out gifts because we want to make sure that there is no question about impropriety, meaning that someone is not taking advantage of the residents. That was a sidebar. So no, no, Miss W, I cannot take this. Well, it's passion, you have to take it. It makes the men go wild. What? Oh, really? I'm like literally laughing at this point. I said, How do you know this? Trust me, I've been using it for years. I said, Oh my god, you are so funny. And she says, You need it. I said, Really? I says, I'm married, and she said, Well, then it'll make your husband go wild too. He'll take his hands off you. I say that story because I think about the guest speaker we have today. Her name is Erin, and we talk about why we do this and the little things that bring joy to what we're doing in our jobs and in our careers, and how this is a mission and a passion. And so when I think about her and that passion perfume, I think about the joy that she had coming to my office nearly every day. She tried to give me a bag and a purse. She was just so appreciative that despite the way she looked, despite the way she talked, despite the level of her education, um, despite how she was so unaware of spatial boundaries, she would just get in your face, not knowing, look at you with her head cut to the side and just start talking to you. And you would just, you know, we just said that was her. We loved her who she was, we appreciated her for who she was, we um protected her from any residents who were bullies, and we just knew that she was gonna say whatever was on her mind because the Parkinson's and maybe the cognitive aging, even though she was on the younger side, but the impact of that, and possibly I think she may have had a stroke as well that she had recovered from, so her level of thinking compounded with all those other things, and she was just a hoot. And when you work in this, you're gonna have people in all different areas, and I'm talking about senior care, not just senior living, but if you're working in a geriatric office, if you're working in home care and in home health or skilled nursing, anything that works with aging adults, you're going to have such a variety of people. What you're going to hear in this episode is what we do matters, and how does it matter? You're going to find out about my guest's career path, going from a concierge to an executive director to now a coach for operators who need help in turning around their challenged communities, communities that have low occupancy and operational guidelines on how to be a really good, impactful leader. So stay tuned. I hope you love this interview as much as I did, and I apologize for any of the sound effects. It was done through Zoom, so I apologize if there's any glitches, but I hope you enjoy.

SPEAKER_00: 5:40

Hello, friends. Thank you for joining me on the Outlive Your Life podcast. My name is Tiffany, and I am a passionate advocate for the aging and those who support them. To outlive means to live through or to outlive something. And there is no better place to learn about life than in your living. With each episode, I will introduce you to a resident whose wisdom, experience, and life impacted those around them and the valuable lessons we can all learn from. Then we will share interviews and those questions make an impact in the lives of older adults every single day. We will discuss the path which led them to their career, how it has changed them, and why they are so passionate about outliving their life. So be ready, be encouraged, and be transformed. Maybe, just maybe, you will discover a new career path working with the aging as well. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01: 6:59

So tell me how did that go?

SPEAKER_04: 7:01

It went well. We had fun. We talked about our grandparents and then senior living and what assisted living is and what memory care is and how fun it is, and how moving there can change people's lives and what it's like to work inside of a senior living community. And then we talked about I had this picture of 10 blocks. Nine of them said failure, and the top one said success. And so we were able to talk about how failing is just part of being a success and to identify ourselves in the efforts that we put into the process and not necessarily the destination, the grade, you know, the goal. Then we talked about how everyone's worthy. And what was really funny is it's easy for me to talk about sports. I love sports. I wanted to be a sports broadcaster when I was growing up, and that was brought up with the question that they asked. And we were talking about men role models, Jalen Hurts, Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant, you know. And then I'm like, I couldn't think about okay, what is that single avenue for women? Like, who do little girls look up to? I mean, like in women, it's not necessarily sports, and maybe it is. And so names started coming out, like Rosa Parks and Oprah Winfrey. And I thought, Rosa Parks, okay, let's talk about Rosa Parks. You know what I mean? Let's talk about knowing what your worth is and sitting in a seat that somebody tells you is not for you. You know, there's a time and a place to be respectful and to do the right thing. And then there's a time that says, now I'm worthy of sitting in that seat, and I'm gonna sit in that seat. I was fascinated that Rosa Park's name came up whenever we were talking about quarterbacks and basketball players, you know, it was so cool. It was cool.

SPEAKER_01: 9:06

That is cool, especially fifth graders, right? I know, fifth graders. And I'm surprised when I think about sports and I think about women in sports. I think about like Serena and Venus Williams, right? Yes, and I think about Simone Biles, right? And I think pretty strong women. So it's interesting that still to this day reverted back to more historical figures, and not that open is historical, sorry, Oprah, but I mean for that age group that didn't come to the front of their mind. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_04: 9:34

I know, I know, and I completely drew a blank. Like, I would never have thought about Simone or Venus and Serena and why. I mean, those are amazing strong women. Yes. I don't know. I couldn't even think of Oprah. You know what I mean? I'm sitting here thinking of the women that I look up to, but I'm like, they're podcasters, they're not necessarily somebody that a fifth grader or other people that I look up to, a fifth grader wouldn't know. Yeah, man, I completely bombed that.

SPEAKER_01: 10:03

That's okay. But they who was who's a representative for them, right? Which is important. We could always project what we think and who we think, right? But the fact that they brought those um figures up themselves means that they were thinking, which is great. What was the most interesting question that a fifth grader had about being in that career space or in in healthcare or career question that they had?

SPEAKER_04: 10:32

They asked about licensing. Do you have to have a special license? Which I thought was a fascinating question. And then, of course, they asked about the grossest thing that you had to um deal with. And I didn't really know how to appropriately answer that question. And I just said, well, you know, stomach viruses are not fun anywhere you cut it, at school or inside of assisted living, specifically a memory care.

SPEAKER_01: 11:03

Neurovirus nearly shut down half of half of my district one time. We had, I think I had um 13 communities and we had six with a neurovirus, and they're far apart. They weren't even close together. So we're like, somebody's been coming to visit our community.

SPEAKER_04: 11:18

Yes, those are the worst. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01: 11:21

That is but it's really interesting that they thought enough to say the licenses because I find in Facebook groups that is like one of the main questions. I know I want to do this, I want to start my own. Um, and some of them is even from CNAs or you know, resident assistants who've worked in senior loving or home care. And they're like, now what license do I need? That's just such a I'm it's a great question, but it's interesting that a fifth grader would know that there's a certain license.

SPEAKER_04: 11:50

They asked about what do you love the most and then what did you like the least, which I thought was really cool, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 11:58

Well, let's start there. So, what let's start first. How did you get into the space? I am gonna I'm gonna go back to that. How did you get into the space of senior living?

SPEAKER_04: 12:08

Um, so I have always loved elderly people, always. And my grandparents were my people, like you know, how I wasn't had parents, right? They were they were involved. Um, but my grandparents were just everything to me, and so I had just always like I cried whenever people with gray hair lost at Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and all those prices, right? You know, like I was a huge Bob Barker fan. They were just a part of my life. I was a caregiver to my grandmother for 13 years before she moved into my community. And my grandfather needed a respite stay. And I was in college and I needed volunteer hours, and so it just worked that I would try to find him a place to stay for two weeks and volunteer there. I found the assisted living industry and I walked in and I thought, oh my God, I'm at home. What is this place? This is amazing. And um he ended up passing away. Like we didn't get to go and for him to stay in there, but I was able to volunteer there and then I never left. I just stayed. Yeah, became a volunteer, became a concierge, became a full-time concierge, and then graduated college. Um, and the company that I was working for paid, I would get reimbursed for half of my college, which was just phenomenal for me. And I eventually was able to work as a sales director and executive director for that company, which was great. That was like a dream come true for me.

SPEAKER_01: 13:52

So every time you say something, I'm like, oh, I want to go back to that. That's good. Because I think you just hit on a couple of points, right? Number one is with the turnover in senior living, introducing new people into the industry seems like there's such a block, right? But I think your path is one that I feel should be really explored on a much greater scale. My question is like your thoughts, why not, or why aren't more senior living communities recruiting in colleges for volunteers who are going into, let's say, healthcare administration or um healthcare management or marketing. Why are they not doing that? What is your take on the missed opportunity in that, especially since you came from that?

SPEAKER_04: 14:43

Right. I mean, I definitely think it's out there. I don't know if there's not um a big emphasis on it from a company standpoint. I think that there may be right now some movement towards that area from what I hear going on and see going on right now. But I think it's definitely an untapped resource that is not being drilled, I guess you could say, drilled in and um getting those people who need the volunteer hours. I know that we would have some people come um when I was inside of a community and ask and, you know, get them there and they loved it. But I certainly did not go seek it. And that is certainly something that is very valuable.

SPEAKER_01: 15:30

Yeah, you know, I worked in South Carolina, Clemston University was the school that was where my community was close by, really 20 minutes away. And they have an actual senior living community on the campus of Clemston that was started by the alumni of Clemston. And so a lot of their alumni goes there. And so I found it so fascinating because they had somewhere between 26 to 28 interns there serving, and it fed into their openings later on, but it also, you know, helped them to do the things like the marketing and be on the cutting edge of marketing because they had somebody from the marketing department to do this. And I just I loved being there and seeing their model, and I kept saying, like, why aren't more places doing this? And um, it just I don't know, to me, is such a known brainer. Yeah, you know, because when you're in college, you're an explore exploratory phase, right? You're still trying to figure out. I mean, how many times did you change your major? I know I changed mine a couple of times, you know. So that is really interesting what you said. The second thing that you said was that you came in as a concierge part-time and went full-time, and then you became a like not right then an E D, but that career path. Can you talk a little bit about more about that? Because I think a lot of people are sitting in the seat right now as a sales manager or as a um a housekeeper, even, right? And they don't see themselves. So, can you talk to me a little bit about what that looked like for you?

SPEAKER_04: 17:10

Sure. I studied, you know, how you have people who are people watchers. Yeah. One of the first careers that I wanted to do was be a broadcaster, a sports broadcaster. And so, for even still to this day, I watch people how they handle themselves on TV, how they interview, how they do all those things. And so I learned nuances just by watching people. And when I was a concierge, the person at the front desk who welcomes people, who is your first impression when you walk in, I quickly realized I have power. And when you align yourself the way you answer the phone, how you greet people, how you make people feel. And I was 19 years old, I understood I loved making people feel special when they walked in. I love saying hello to the same people over and over again. It gave me so much joy. Like in assisted living, when you align yourself with the sales process, you will be seen, period. So if you are a server, because I worked in the culinary department too. If you're a server, if you're a housekeeper, your roles are very, very, very, very important. And if you believe that and you go and you meet the tours, you introduce yourself to the tours, you come up with your 30-second commercial, you will be seen. And you impact people's lives. Something that I realized that I really haven't talked much about yet is there are four reasons as to why people move into assisted living, right? Care, housekeeping, socialization, and food. So if you work in those four departments, your value is super high. It doesn't matter what you do. When you know your worth and you know your power and you lean into it and you work your magic, you'll get to where you want to go. And when they see you and they see what you're doing, take your opportunity and say, I want big things in life and say it, speak it. And that's what I did. You know, I want to be an executive director one day. You know, I was probably close to 20 years old when probably first realized that. And um it came to pass.

SPEAKER_01: 19:27

Setting intentions are so important. People kind of go through life just kind of plotting, plotting, plotting, never really setting intention or manifestation or saying what they really want out of it. So I think um that is really um intuitive of you at 1921 to even do that. Um, so can you just give me like a timeline? Because a lot of times people have questions. What I have found more recently um in working with the workforce that we have, they think everything should happen quick and soon and fast. Like I don't understand why I've I've already been here a year. Why can't I be an ED? Can you just give me a little bit of a timeline and that progression for you from being a part-time concierge to an ED?

SPEAKER_04: 20:12

Yes. Um, it was about eight years total. So I started inside the industry at 19. And then at 24, I believe, I became a sales and marketing director, and then I was promoted to the executive director. But you know that I wasn't I did fine, I did very good. I'm proud of the work that I did. But at 28 years old, I had never managed anyone. And I thought everybody thought like me. I didn't understand the thought diversity. I understood diversity, but not the way that I understand it now. But I thought that everybody thought like me. So it was a rude awakening when I realized that not everybody thinks like me. And I had to manage people that saw me as a 19-year-old because we all worked together for so long. And that was a different, you know, the first six months of that transition for me was very, very difficult. And if you haven't managed anyone, and then you go into a role where you're managing like 50 to 75 people, um, that's gonna knock you down a few feet in the ground.

unknown: 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 21:34

Um a little humble pie a couple of times and a little stress there. Because I think while a lot of times it's well-intentioned and people see your potential, right? Um, and I think it's the right thing to do, absolutely, to give people opportunities. One of the things that has been very different for me personally, coming from outside of senior living, outside of healthcare into this industry is the lack of training. If I'm going to promote someone who we know that this is her first management position, should we as an organization send her to management classes or you know, performance leadership from outside training sources, send her away to conferences or him? Those are the things that I think when we're doing things like that, that should be reinforced if the organization doesn't already have one. What are your thoughts on that? Would that would you have found that to be helpful at that age?

SPEAKER_04: 22:42

Yes. I certainly didn't know what I was getting into. I mean, I was nervous and apprehensive, but I was also very naive. Like I was very naive as to what that role entailed. And yes, I would have welcomed it. And in fact, I read a bunch of leadership books um and tried to implement. Then you just realize, oh, I shouldn't have said that that way, or oh, you know, what you do for one, you have to do for others. And oh uh, I guess I should have said that in a meeting because I just thought everybody knew there's just so many things that and I have a tendency to learn things the hard way, anyways. Yes, the training would have been nice, the training would have been nice, and when I was in sales, they invested in me. That company invested heavily in me. Right. And when I became an operator and executive director, my support team that promoted me left shortly after that. And I was alone, I didn't have you know regional support or anything. Um, so it was a bit of trial by fire, and any type of help would have been really, really good at that time.

SPEAKER_01: 24:02

It's funny you say that because when you look at the investment, right? In every company I have either seen, been a part of, or in senior living, they really invested into the sales process, into the sales journey because it's revenue generating. It hits the bottom line. Where I have seen that there have been opportunities, I would say, is in the operator side of it, the investing into that side of it for the education and the support. They give policies and procedures and processes, right? But what does that leadership look like? How does that work? What system do they have? Because usually with sales, and I say usually because there's still a lot of companies out there who don't have a real sales training program, to be honest. I have seen and come across a lot where there's an onboarding, but not a process in training, right? So when it comes to operators and operations not having that investment of support, um, I think when you have an operator who doesn't have that investment of resources, time, mentorship, training, whatever have you, but they're in charge of managing the whole community. Now, if they do a bad job, you're talking about customer service complaints, you're talking about reputation management, reputation issues in the greater community, right? You're talking about turnover issues, which then impacts the quality of service. Like there's so much to me in my mind that impacts a community when there is no um no training for the operator. What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_04: 25:48

Yes, it's very true. I think that the bigger the company gets, and I have worked for smaller companies and bigger companies and medium-sized companies and all this stuff, the less details we talk about. Details take time. They don't we don't talk details, we talk big items, big ticket items. Um and what I had I this when I saw recently, I think it was on LinkedIn, like why is Disney so powerful? Because it's the details. They care about the details. The details take time. And I have noticed where the sales specialist or the operational specialist or whatever, um, that role is kind of fading out because we don't have the consistency for it anymore within those organizations. If we want to dissect an industry, I think that that is our missing link is who's training the new guys, the new gals, and what are we talking about? Because yes, we're talking about policies and procedures, and yes, we're talking about computer programs, but all of that is overwhelming. You send a new ED off to whatever training, and you're throwing a binder of stuff at them, and then the expectation is that they get it. Right. Quickly too, right? Quickly. Yeah, that's like, what do you mean? You've been here a month already, right? And the expectation to move people in and do all the things, and you're still acclimating to a new community and all the little nuances that go on in that. Um it's hard. You know, I tell people all the time your first six months, anywhere you go new, will be hell on earth. Not as well, I mean, strap in, and then your next six months will be better. You won't be in the deepest, darkest pit, but it will get better. And then after that, you're good. Because it takes time for pattern recognition, it takes time to understand people, to see them in their good, to see them in their bad, and to make the mistakes and then correct them and all that kind of stuff. So I think what we're missing beside the training piece is an understanding that hey, you're not gonna do good at this for a while. And we got you. We're gonna we're gonna understand it. Right, right. Instead of this fear culture, which I feel sometimes exists, we should have this comfort culture of there's gonna be a lot of mistakes made. And as long as you know it's not life and death, and it wasn't 100% preventable and egregious, right? Right, exactly. We're gonna support you, we're going to grow you, and we're gonna be confident in you in order for you to do all those things for yourself. Um, and I think that's where people like you and I kind of come in, where we want to offer that sense of I got you uh because we have been through the I don't have you phases, that other side of senior living that doesn't get talked about much.

SPEAKER_01: 29:09

Yeah, well, it's talked about a lot, it's just not talked about openly. So when I first came out of college, my first job was with the number one company, the top companies work for in America. And this company was like listed as number one for like two, three, four years in a row. And I was I saw it and I was like, I'm gonna work for that company, and they have a branch right in Tulsa. So before I went on the floor, I was a cubicle person, so it was like a phone person, but their training for the phone person for a credit card company was six weeks long. Six weeks, six whole weeks. Yeah, you had this the computer part of it, but it talked about culture, who the company was, how do we treat our customers? It talked about what you are in. Power to do without even asking for permission. Um, it was all the other stuff that goes along with the culture of that company. So that's why I get Chick-fil-A. I get those cultures because they invest time into not just the task training, it is the holistic training. How do we want you to treat our customers and never assuming that you know? We say, Oh, just make up the bed to an aid. Here, I'm gonna show you this one time, or somebody on the floor might say, Here, you just make up their bed and that's it. But do they even know how to properly make up a bed? I think what you're saying is absolutely spot on with um the details. So tell me, how did that transition to you, you know, learning all this stuff into running and actually going into um what would be considered challenge communities? And what did that look like? How were you able to turn those communities around?

SPEAKER_04: 31:03

So the first community that I worked at, where I started out as a concierge, I knew the team, right? Now we were great when I was a concierge, and then whenever I came back as the sales director, um, we were struggling at that point. There was a lot of ED turnover before I came back. Um, there was no captain of the ship, everybody was just doing their own thing. So, you know, there was no cohesiveness, there was no camaraderie. And for a year in a sales director role, I had been through two EDs. And, you know, it just it just wasn't good. And so I knew what we could be because I was there previously whenever we were really good. Um, and so I took from what I knew that those leaders had done and I created it my way. I have a natural gift I'm learning of motivating people. And I want to be great, I want to change people's lives. And I had people that wanted the same thing. I know they did. And so I was able to somehow align that with them. You know, I did the work. And when you have people who are good workers and they see you as a leader doing the work, they will match you. And he cared, literally cared about every single one of those people that I worked with. We were friends at first, and I knew them on a very intimate level, right? And so they were a part of me just like I was a part of them. And we just rallied around each other, and then it just kind of kept going. And passion sells loved my community. Every single one of them that I worked in, I invested my heart and soul. And when you can portray that when people walk in the door, people will move in. Every single person who worked at one of my communities knew how important they were. I don't think it was until this last community that we talked about value. You know, when you're in this community, your value is immeasurable. You know, I didn't have those words 10 years ago, 12 years ago, but they knew how important they were. And they knew how important they were to me. Barack Obama became president. I was working at that first community. I was an executive director at that time. And for some reason I was working 3 to 11. I don't know why I was at the community, but you know, we stopped what we were doing. And I said, everybody, you know, we need to watch this together. This is history. And as long as the residents are okay, we can go into the movie room and we can watch this together. Those are the moments that we come together and we value each other. Uh, there was a time where my grandmother actually stayed in that community for a respite's day. And so then they felt like now you met another member of my family and you were caring for them. And each team worked together. I remember that first community is where I started giving away things. Like I love to give away things, and we had like an associate appreciation fund for school, like back to school. I would go out and just buy, you know, backpacks and um all the supplies. And we would have monthly birthday parties or whatever, and just have like giveaways. Um, so things like that. You just always tell people they're doing a great job when they do it, and they want to work harder, they want to achieve a goal. Everybody wants to be a part of something great, everybody wants to be a part of something bigger than themselves. And I've learned that healthcare doesn't need managers, they need leaders.

SPEAKER_01: 35:31

Right. That's a word right there.

SPEAKER_04: 35:34

Yeah. If you work in healthcare, you innately want to do good. Right. You innately want to do good, but that doesn't mean that you always do good, you know, because just like sports players and sports teams, they will play up or they will play down to their competition. We have to want to be better and then bring people to that point of being better too. Managers don't cut it in healthcare, those are mediocre communities.

SPEAKER_01: 36:05

It's so funny. I was listening to you talking about how you were as an ED. And I think about my first time working in senior living. I was I started late in life in this industry. I've been through other corporate entities and things like that. And my first ED used to do exactly that. When I say the people were loyal, like if we needed over time, if we needed something, they would step up. We had people who would step up, and as and even with myself and my role of sales, I would I would celebrate them. I would celebrate the staff that was actually doing the work. And so then it came to a point where if any family was walking in, they just automatically became who they were for our residents in front of the family. And it helped, we consistently was always the almost two and a half years I was there above um 96%. I don't think rarely did we go below 96 or maybe I don't know, maybe 92 or something. We if we did, we came right back like really quickly because we had such a good community. She gave away backpacks, she gave away turkeys, she did birthdays, she did those things, and she also rallied all of the department head managers together. Where if we had a family night, it was a must. Everybody had to be there. If we had a sales and marketing event, it was a must. Everybody had to be there. There was no that's her thing. It was this is us, this is our, this is we. And I didn't know it at the time because it was my first time in senior living. I thought that's how everybody did it. Rude awakening for me when I went to another community. But holy cow, I realized that she was it was her who was creating something special, you know. Yeah, yeah. Kudos to you. I mean, that's that's how you but that's how you turn around communities, right? Am I correct?

SPEAKER_04: 37:58

Yeah, yeah, it's true. When your associates or caregivers or housekeepers or whatever, that for whatever reason will not interact with family members. And there could be many different reasons for that. Um, but I always train people that you welcome families and you welcome them to the hall or where you're at, just like people welcome you to their home and you engage with those family members because you number one are in charge of their most important person. Number two, you have so much to offer them. And if you don't have anything to say, then you tell them how their loved one is doing that day, you know, period. And then I tell family members if you want the best care for your loved one, you love the caregivers who are caring for them. You speak to them, you say hello, you let them know how thankful you are. You will build relationships that way. And so if you can proactively tell family members to do that and then proactively tell your associates to do that, all of a sudden you have a very cohesive unit.

SPEAKER_01: 39:12

Because you bridge the gap, right? You've you've created a bridge, right? And so that's the whole thing is that you have actually created a bridge by doing that. So tell me a little bit now, because you're you have stepped outside of the senior living realm in the community base, but now you're doing the support on the back end um to help those people who are still in the communities, much like I am. That's why I think I'm like when I met you, I'm like, oh my god, we're kindred spirits. This is all amazing. Um, and so tell me what is Aspire for More with Aaron. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04: 39:50

So I have two passions. I want to educate, equip, and empower family members to really take a proactive approach to caregiving and to reframe the idea that moving into senior living is failure because it's not failure. You and I have seen the life-changing ability that assisted living and memory care can be. I have seen it professionally, I have felt it personally. Um, I know the good and the bad, and I still would move my loved one into assisted living in a heartbeat. In fact, I've told all my parents that they're prepared, you know. So, you know, I have a podcast that I do to specifically educate those families and talk to them. Hey, it's okay to feel burnt out, to feel angry, to feel sad, all the things. And here are some things that you need to look for because I have seen where too many people have been taking advantage because of this, this, and this. And if we can advise family members how to look for things before they happen, and then how to find the right assisted living, how to make sure that their Medicare has it, make sure they have part D, you know, all the questions, you know, like we were talking about earlier, what's Medicare, what's Medicaid, what's part D, open enrollment, you know, those types of things. So, and I have counseled thousands of families over my career of navigating the pitfalls of caregiving and how to kind of plan for what could be next. You know, I try to take like three or four different scenarios because we never know what's next, but we can we can look at the clues and kind of make some plans, right? Everybody wants a plan. So if we can have two or three plans, you know, you can feel prepared. So that's one thing. The other thing is the other professional side, like you and I were talking about. Um I I find it to be odd that the support system that we have inside, let's just say, larger communities, because I'm it would probably be the same for maybe a smaller community. I'm not quite sure, that that the person that we have to go to is also the person that's responsible for our job. So we're supposed to be able to vent to a regional director or to an HR director when things are really tough and we want to say what we want to say. And if we do, that person has the ability to take our words in the weakest moments and spin it and use it against us to make judgments over really hard things. And I have not had always had the best regional directors. Um, I have had some really great regional directors, and so the inconsistency of the support um and the need I say, maybe quote unquote bullying that can happen from others doesn't make for a real comforting um conversation whenever we as leaders get dealt a really bad hand when we have five categories that are just as equal of importance. You have the residents, you have the families, you have your associates, you have the home office, and then you have the regulatory people. And sometimes all that weight needs to come out. The regional director right now has so much on their plate that they don't have time to handle the details. So I thought, why not start a business that leaders inside the senior living can choose their own support to where there is somebody out there that is just for my success. No other reason I am paying you to teach me how to turn the struggling building around. And I don't, me personally, as your coach, you can say whatever you want to me, as long as it's respectful, you know, because you're paying me to listen, you're paying me to support you, and maybe even build a network of even group support, you know, to where we have 10 people like-minded wanting the same things, to where we can go over the same different things and what are the best practices and what's working and supporting each other. This industry, whether or not it means to or not, puts us against each other as if we're competitors. And sure, in some markets we are. But really, we're sisters and brothers in the same dealing with the same unique, right, right, stressful things that we could support each other instead of beat each other up, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 45:08

I mean, you know what? When you look at competitors, like I think about the brothers who played in the in the Super Bowl, right? Of course, they're famous competitors, they still love each other, their brothers are still family at the end of the day, the Kelsey brothers. But then I think about other notable, highly competitive people, but when they come off the court, you know, they're still they support each other. And I've seen it over and over and over again that um, you know, there's an idea, I think, and I've seen in this industry that is is comp competition has to be cutthroat. And in my mind, I I am a I'm a fierce competitor. I am, but I will say this is that my competition is that I want the family to win. So there has been many a times where I really felt like we could probably do this for the family, but it wouldn't be right. Like you have to look that they're the center. So my thing is, you know, in talking with the family or whatever have you, you know what? So and so down the street is more of what you're looking for because I knew I could schmooze them, I can have them moved in, I could do this. Because where I was, we were an older community. And when I first started, and we still had mauve carpets and baby blue tiles. Literally within a mile, I used to call it the Taj Mahal. That's what it looked like. It looked huge, three-story ceilings, it was opulent and but and for and and as a sales, you have to gauge who that person is you're talking to. And even though they would be like, and most times if it was care and I could I could gauge it, I could do it, I could do it. But if I knew that they would be so nitpicky on everything because they just weren't going to be happy, I gave it to my competitor, right? Um, and and and I will say that served me more on the back end because guess who referred other people to me and would say my mom didn't go there because of X, Y, and Z, but then if it sold me as the person, which then in turn sold the community, you know what I'm saying? And I think you're absolutely right that support, we're all in the same boat. We're all have the same mission, right? And there's all these different people out there who live these different lives, they don't want to be on a yacht, they want to be on a fishing boat. These other people don't want to be on a they want to be on a cruise ship, and these people don't want to be on a cruise ship, fishing boat, or yacht, they want to be on a racer boat. So we have to determine what boat are we going to represent and say for those people who want to fish, come on over here, right? And I think, but yet we can support each other because at the end of the day, if any of them get lost out in sea, guess what? What I have seen, each one of those boats go and pick up the person who's sinking. You know what I'm saying? Each one, each one will go and pick up the person who's who's in the in the water with the life jacket on, saying, help me, help me, because they're still supportive, even though they're they're from different boats, if that makes sense. I know that's kind of like a crazy analogy, but that's what I think.

SPEAKER_04: 48:40

Yeah, I think that's great. And I think it's very important because one of the best things you can do for yourself, and you basically said it, is to know the brand of your community and who you're out there looking for, because you're not gonna be for everybody, and if you're trying to cast your net for everything and everybody, you're gonna be very, very, very disappointed and let down. But if you know who you're for, you're going for that person, and that's why you're gonna be successful. And carpet isn't everything, there's a lot of people who don't care about the other the opulent things, right? And so, yeah, you were wise, you knew like peace is better than not peace, especially with families because they're expectations, like you can set your team in the sales role up for failure if you're not careful, right?

SPEAKER_01: 49:41

And yes, you want to help everybody and and everything, and and quite honestly, and this is where there's that that balance, you have the pressure, the neck, the foot on your neck all the time to use your skills to persuade, right? Even in the back of your mind, you know, mm-mm, this isn't gonna be right, you know, and I just felt like look, I'll take the hit. What it meant for me is if I give up this one, that means I have to go out three times harder next week or in the next couple of days to find the right one. It fueled me to find the right one, and you know, and so that's just that's just how it worked. And what is your podcast professionals?

SPEAKER_04: 50:25

It's the Aspire for More with Aaron podcast.

SPEAKER_01: 50:29

Perfect. And how can people get in contact with you?

SPEAKER_04: 50:34

Well, my website is www.spireformore with Aaron.com. That's inspire as p-i-r. Asp I R E. Because we want to aspire for better things, better things for us as leaders, better things for people inside the community, both associates and residents, um, and for an industry that will evolve into a kinder, nicer, more supportive industry to work in sometimes. Um so and then my email is just Aaron Thompson at aspireformore with Aaron.com.

SPEAKER_01: 51:22

So that's great. I want you to, if you can. Um I am a quote person, like literally, I like have quote cards. My thing is quotes. I have I just I surround myself with words. I I believe words, I surround myself with words. Music speaks to me. So I'm gonna ask you three questions. What would you say is your favorite quote? Or do you have one?

SPEAKER_04: 51:47

I have lots of them. Like, um, hmm. Okay, so Tony Robbins has a quote that I will read to you, right? And it says, The only thing keeping me from the success I want is the story I keep telling myself on why I do not have it. My beliefs will create or destroy my success. Change your story, change your life. You know, that is the limiting beliefs, you know, that inner critic in your voice, in your head telling you that you are not um good enough, that you're not enough, that you're not worthy, you know, all the things, right? So that is something that I'm subscribing to right now. Brene Brown is somebody else that I've been doing a little research in. And love her, yes, we are imperfect, we are wired for struggle, but we are worthy of love and belonging. And then there's this last one that is pretty powerful. I've been working on a presentation for the Assisted Living Association of Alabama, and I am talking about um vulnerability and shame and fear, right? So inside, if we don't deal with the psychology in our community, then we're never going to see change. Um, so I've been doing a lot of research with her stuff. And so I thought these were two very important statements. So when we become defined by what people think, we lose our capacity to be vulnerable. And when we stop caring what people think, we lose the ability to connect. And that's from Brene Brown.

SPEAKER_01: 53:43

She's she's amazing. I've done like I think four of her books because I was always on the road. So I did the Audibles. I did all her books on the Audible. I love Brene Brown. I do. Yeah. Um, so give me, if you can think of it, maybe two songs that keeps you inspired or motivated.

SPEAKER_04: 54:08

So right now, I would say, and I think for the longest time, um the movie um gosh, why can't I think of the movie's name? So the one with Hugh Jackman and um Zach Efron and um who's who's the girl? They're in the circus. The show, um yes, the greatest showman. The greatest showman. Um, there is a song called This Is Me. And where it's the people who are the rejects, right? That are the the people that the society doesn't want to see. And it's and it's them accepting their story, right? It's them accepting all their scars. This is me, and I'm coming out, and I don't care, you know, what you think, I'm gonna love who I am, right? That song to me just lights my fire. It starts slow and then it gets big, and then it's slow, and then it's big again. And I'm like, yeah, this is me.

SPEAKER_01: 55:14

Because I don't know that I know that song, but I'm gonna listen to that one.

SPEAKER_04: 55:17

Oh god, it's so good. And there is a there's a um an artist, a Christian artist named Colton Dixon, and he has a song called Limitless. And there is the bridge to that is um doubt sees a mountain, no way around it, but faith sees a victory, no doubt about it. Fear sees the ceiling, hope sees the stars, love be the light inside of our hearts. Um, and you know, it's just we can allow fear and doubt to stop us. We can allow people to steal our worth and our value. Um, but when we get our act together, all those are just scars that make us stronger, you know, that make us better. And um, you know, when I get in my moments and I want to get out of my moments, those are two of the songs that I listen to.

SPEAKER_01: 56:19

I love it. I love it. So now I have two new songs to put on my playlist, right? My other thing um I want to ask you because the other side of me and what we do, which is so important to residents, is I'm a foodie. So can you give me two of your favorite foods to eat?

SPEAKER_04: 56:36

You're gonna think I'm crazy, and everybody who listens to me is gonna think I'm crazy. But if I had to have a last meal and it was a comfort food, and it is something that I go to that you know, just makes me warm and fuzzy. It is a toasted peanut butter and jelly with all natural peanut butter that you have to stir with strawberry and jelly. Yes, it's just my thing. I don't know why. And number two. Oh, uh you know, I like a good um gosh, I have no idea. I like Chick-fil-A. If you if you have to say, like somebody once told me that Chick-fil-A french fries won't make you fat because they're Jesus fries, and I subscribe to that.

SPEAKER_01: 57:28

That is so funny. Chick-fil-A fries will not make you fat because they're Jesus fries. I don't think I've ever heard that one before.

SPEAKER_04: 57:35

Yes, that is so cute. I love French fries, and the other thing that I will say is I if I get too stressed, I cannot I cannot be an alcoholic because I've tried to drink and I can't drink, my body doesn't like me to drink. Um, but I do love a fountain drink. I love a Coke Diet Coke mixture. And when I needed a moment at work, I would just go to the gas station and I would buy myself a 32-ounce drink and drink it, and it would make me very happy. So if I had a 32-ounce drink of half coke, half diet coke, and a toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I would be very happy.

SPEAKER_01: 58:21

Well, Aaron, very simple. Thank you so much for coming onto the podcast. I so appreciate you. I am looking forward um to working with you. So for the listeners, so that they know that you and I are in the discussion because we have the Compus Rose Accelerator that we're doing, which is a 12-month program to support the independent and smaller assisted livings, independent livings, memory care supportive communities that don't have the benefit of having a regional or the benefit of having any training at all. I am so excited about having Erin come on board as one of the coaches. So if you want to know more about Erin's program, we are sisters, we are supportive of one another. We again, this is a great example of how you can have different boats. We're kind of doing the same thing, but different, um, and you can support each other. And so I fully support everything that Erin is doing and trying to do in the senior living industry to support executive directors that are sitting in that seat or any other community leader who needs that help. While in turn, she's also a coach for my program for those people who are independent or smaller, the resources of having a regional with that um years of experience um um to help support them and to I would like to say, what is that called? Like hold them in their hand in your hand, right? You know, also um so thank you again. I am so excited to have you as a know a part of this podcast and my and on our team. So Looking forward to it. So if you want to know more about Erin, please reach out to her. Um, and you also have a very active LinkedIn profile. Am I correct? Yes. Yes. On LinkedIn. So if you go to LinkedIn, look for Erin Thompson, E-R-I-N, and you will find her on LinkedIn. You can direct message her, send her a private message, and she will be more than happy to respond to you and assist you and support you and tell you more about her program. All right, Erin. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02: 1:00:31

You're welcome.